Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Overcoming bullying with friendship

Dominic is an exceptional little athlete, and because he is so good at soccer his coach suggested moving him up to the 6-8 year old league (he's been playing with 4-5 year olds). Last night was his first night with the "big kids".
Dominic did great with all the drills and seemed nervous but OK until the last drill. They dribble the ball till coach says "freeze", then they have to stop the ball, leave it, and run to another ball. Dominic ran to a ball and was waiting for the coach to say "go". An older boy (he must have been 8 but was VERY tall) came up to Dominic and put his foot on the ball and got in Dominic's face. Dominic kept his foot on the ball and it looked like he said "This is my ball." The kid got real close to Dominic (in an obviously intimidating way) and took the ball out from under him. Dominic stood there, looking upset. He usually doesn't back down so I half expected him to slug the kid. Instead he walked away and I pointed him to a new ball. I was LIVID and wanted to walk out on the field and say something to the kid, but didn't know if it would make things worse. I decided I'd just tell the coach about it.
Coach called a water break so I figured I'd tell him then. But Dominic came over to me with tears in his eyes so we went to talk. He was SO upset and said he hated it here and didn't want to play with the big kids. I felt so awful for him. After the water break he REFUSED to go back in, and sat out the rest of practice. I finally managed to get him off my lap long enough to go tell the coaches why Dominic was sitting out.
They handled it wonderfully. They talked to Dominic and told him that he could come to them with any problem and they would help him. After practice I saw them talking to the boy in question, which I am happy about.
What really turned things around was a sweet little boy named Matthew. He kept coming over and asking if Dominic was OK and ready to come play. He was so sweet and persistent. At the end, when the kids huddled & said good-bye, Matthew came over to us and asked Dominic if he would like to walk with him to the huddle and stand next to him. Dominic tried to look very non-chalant and said "sure" and walked away with him.
Kindness and friendship are so powerful! Dominic finally stopped talking about "the mean boy" and the whole ride home talked about his new friend Matthew and how he would play with him next week and that he wasn't afraid of playing with the big kids anymore. When we got home he told his daddy all about his new friend Matthew, and didn't even mention the bully. Thank goodness for little blessings like Matthew! Fingers crossed that things go well next Monday!

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